In a stunning turn of events, Santa has canceled Christmas due to Katy Perry's guest appearance on a special live-action sequence of "The Simpsons". Mr. Kringle was quoted as saying, "If I am to be repaid for all my hard work, year after year, for millions of children around the world with that tart sliming up my favorite show, then there is really no reason to take flight this year."
Ms. Perry could not be reached to comment as she is filming a segment for a PBS special on the decline of modern civilization.
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